I will praise you in the Storm

I was a minute away from spending new years on the toilet.... yes, the dreaded occured.... I was being careful with the water that I drank, the food that I ate, and washed my hands with soap and water whenever they were available and with baby wipes when they werent. For 2 days i was stuck on my bed with fatigue from my body trying to fight whatever was sending me to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Only by taking medication was i able to manage the boatride to brazil from colombia, and once there was overwhelmed by not being able to participate with my team. The agonizing pain in my stomach accompanied by a painful sinus infection, diziness, among other things. I cry out to God, in this pain, not understanding why he was allowing this to occur, when I have asked him to heal me, and I know that he has the power and will to do so. But that is the thing... I was focused on the healing and not on Him. His desire for us is to first and foremost fuel our relationship with Him. Not that we can try to earn our way to him, but by keeping lines of communication with him open. so many times we become focused on our problems that we let it get in the way of seeing God. Maybe we are facing a crossroad in our life and we are asking Him for his dirrection (which is a good thing) but the second that it impedes other communication and we aren~t praising him because we are so distrought by the situation, we may not hear his response. He desires all of us our will and our emotions. When our hearts are broken from ourselves and offered up to Him that is when we can be opened enough to receive. Its not about receiving this healing, its about opening up myself enough to God, and out of this relationship i have with him, and not being focused on my circumstances and letting them bring me down, thats when he can give.

BE joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God~s willl for you in Christ Jesus 1 Thessalonins 5:16-18